A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
So here is the last of the QP's from Karen's Design Quest..this is from week 4. You can find the kit here. Template used # 157 by Tami. You can find Tami's blog here.
First up here is one of my favorite bartender jokes:
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it,
Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Karen from scrapN2Nspire has a new kit in her store. It is called "Affair of the Heart". This kit is great for scrapping those old photos you have sitting around collecting dust.You can find the kit here.
And just for being so nice for stopping by here is a qp for you.
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn't want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never have to go to jail with all that money. And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.
This is the 3rd of 4 QP's using scrapN2Nspire's design Quest kits.(if you missed the first 2 (links are fixed) they are in previous posts).You can find the free kit here. The template I used is from Tami. This is template #157.Tami's blog is here.
A wife asked her husband to describe her. He said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She said, "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous Hot." She said, "Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding"
Misty from C4M is giving away a free kit on her blog called Joyful & Bright. The kit is being given away in 7 days before it goes into her store. The LO was made using only the papers & ellies from the first 3 days.(which are still available for DL).You can find Misty here.
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. "Good lord!" he screamed, "one of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached the package to their backs. "Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't those parachutes?" The pilot said they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?" "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
Now for your freebie. This QP was made using scrapN2Nspire's week 2 submission for Scrapping Fairy tales Design Quest. The kit is called Down by the Sea Shore and you can find it here. Template used #238 by Tami. You can find Tami's blog here.
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, "what the heck", and I started jumping up and down along with her. She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy." She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant. I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more" I asked, What do you mean there's more. She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Sam's Club and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!"
Karen from ScrapN2Nspire participated in Scraping Fairy Tales Design Quest and she is offering her 4 kits as freebies on her blog. I did 4 QP's. Today you get a QP from her "Road Trip" kit from week 1. The template I used is from Tami(template #92). You can get templates and page kits for free from Tami. You can find her blog here. You can find Road Trip Here.
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”